love is a living sacrifice

We will never understand the sacrifice of love that was made for humanity. We never will be able to.

But this season is giving me a taste. A slight understanding of the humility, hurt, and heart ache that the Son of God embodied as He was hung to die. 

I am not saying that I am going through what He did. Hell no. Not anything close. But I am beginning to understand the sacrifice aspect of that love we so freely and willingly accept. 

He was rejected. He was unloved. He was unwanted. 

But yet still loved. Gave love. And is love. 

How can I be told that I am no longer loved anymore but yet still love more? How can I hear that I am not desired any more but yet still desire? It doesn't make sense to me, why is not what I am hearing changing my heart? Why does it not hurt a way that changes my heart and it's desires?

Why do I still feel called to fight? Called to pursue? Called to care? Called to love? And love more everyday.

Why is the Spirit calling me here and equipping me be strong in a place where every message I am being told is telling me to move on?

Why am I feeling like I am called to hold on when the reality of my life is that I should let go?

I am being told to be steadfast.

Steadfast: resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering 

I wonder how to be steadfast and protect my heart, how to be steadfast without a fear of disappointment. But I think the answer lies only in faithfulness. Faithfulness in that the Lord would never call me to a place where He will not meet me and a place where He will satisfy everyone of my needs. And faithfulness in my reckless pursuit of the Lord's heart, to see with His eyes and to hear His voice, to feel His comfort and to feel His security. 

God hold my gaze, hold my heart. I want to live Set Free.